- me: from now on, i think i'm going to only date women who are older than i am. that way they can be put together and i can be the mess.
- her: that's probably a good idea.
- her: ...
- her: plus older women would love your dad jokes.
she said to me, “you drink like a man.” to which I replied, “well, anything worth doing is worth doing well.” I felt I should then fix a radiator and hang a light fixture.